You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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