They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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