i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
