She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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