A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
