I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry about my life...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize