plz talk dirty to me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i've created a new STD.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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