I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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