I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
