i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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