Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
