On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
im on a boat
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