I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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