he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
