We're like a lot better than the average bears
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am mentally ready for anal.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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