i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
