I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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