dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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