But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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