Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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