yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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