WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
