I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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