Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
