how can u be prego again
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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