I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
