i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize