Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
