I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
