She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
