guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
