I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize