Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
