Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do vagina's smell?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
