stop calling my apartment porn island.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
