Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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