i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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