I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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