I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
