69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
