What did we do last night that was yellow?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
