I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
