For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
