Will you blow on my dice?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
