i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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