escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
