Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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