me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
