What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
