If that was your dad, he is hot
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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