Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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