I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
