in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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