Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
