...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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