You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
