I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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