Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
