Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
