Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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