This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
