absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
