we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
